


First Steps

by falicewins



Series: Falice One Shots by falicewins [21]
Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: F/M, Family Bonding, Grandpa FP Jones, Polly gets back from treatment, Suicidal Thoughts, falice - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-11
Updated: 2020-02-11
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:34:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22666351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/falicewins/pseuds/falicewins
Summary: ''Stay away from them.''''I'm sorry, I didn't mean to—'' FP started softly but got cut off by Polly.''I don't care what your intentions were. I don't want you near them, ever again.''**Polly gets back from treatment and can't accept FP as part of her family. He opens up to her about his darkest thoughts which brings them closer together.
Relationships: Alice Cooper & Polly Cooper, Alice Cooper/FP Jones II, Polly Cooper & FP Jones II
Series: Falice One Shots by falicewins [21]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1626064
Comments: 2
Kudos: 15





	First Steps

''My mom just texted that they will be here in a few minutes.'' Betty said with a noticeable nervous tone in her voice, which didn't go unnoticed by her boyfriend. 

He walked over to her and placed his hand on her shoulders and slowly rubbed them to make her relax some more.

''Everything will be fine, Betty. Polly is finally ready to come home.'' He assured her, but he knew that there had changed so much since the last time she had been in this home and that it was going to be a lot different to face it in real life then to hear the stories. 

She wasn't focussed on the home situation she was going to get back to, she had been fixated on her recovery. Everyone questioned whether she was going to be okay with this or that hell was going to break loose. 

Charles was sitting on the couch with the two toddlers on his lap who had been living with the Cooper-Jones-Smith family for almost a year now. They had no clue about their mom returning today, which maybe was for the best. He looked at their innocent faces and realised they had been through a lot of trauma for kids who could barely even walk on their own.

''Should I go before she comes home? I don't want to overwhelm her.'' Charles asked his half siblings who now looked his way. 

The couple shared a look, but both of them knew that letting him go home now would not only be a knife into his back, but in Polly's too. Alice had told her about Charles not that long ago and even when she had trouble showing emotions, Polly had told her Mom that she wanted to meet her brother for real this time.

The first time she had stood eye to eye with him was when she had that bomb around her waist and had stormed into the FBI's office under Edgar's control. It was going to be hard to see that same person in a total new circumstance when she only linked him to one of her trauma's.

''You should stay. Alice said she could handle it.'' Jughead answered when Betty stayed awfully silent. 

She nodded along with him a few seconds later, confirming his words. If she could choose, she would protect her big sister from every piece of pain that was yet to come, but she knew that was an impossible task. Even when she was declared mentally stable now, that wouldn't mean there wasn't a big part of the healing process still waiting for her.

''We don't need to underestimate her. They won't let her go if she can't handle everything that is yet to come. That includes our current family dynamic. Things will be fine. She is a Smith girl after all.'' 

FP tried to ease the worry that was written over the three faces and it seemed to work just a little. Betty smiled gratefully at his words as if she needed to be reminded that her sister was a strong woman.

Before any of them could say anything else they heard the front door get unlocked and they saw Alice stepping into the house first, followed by Polly who looked like a baby duck who saw the world for the very first time.

Four pair of eyes were staring at her and suddenly the confidence she had when she left the pshyciatric asylum was completely gone. Was she really ready to come back into this family after all her trauma's? Was she really steady enough to take care of her own kids? Was she really okay enough to finish high school? But most importantly; Was she ready to be part of this new family?

''Polly...'' Betty said quietly, her eyes stinging as she looked at the scared face of her big sister.

The girl she once knew had been completely gone, but somewhere in her eyes she could see a bit of the spark that reminded her of the big sister she had looked up to so much.

''Hey, Betty.'' She smiled, as she felt her Mom stroking her back and gave her an encouraging push towards her sister.

It took them just a second to fall into each other arms and hold on tight. Polly felt her tears winning the battle and so her cheeks slowly became wet. There were no words in the world to describe how much she had missed her sister so all she could do is squeeze her body gently against her own.

FP had wrapped his arms around Alice and kissed her temple gently to tell her how proud he is of her and that everything would be fine. He looked at her while she was almost in trance looking at her two daughters getting reunited. This was different from all the time before when they had visited her. Now she was home. Or at least, the home she once knew.

Charles awkwardly stood up with the twins on his hips so they could properly welcome their mother home. Polly instantly began to cry as she looked at the innocent faces of her children, so Betty laid her head down on her sister's shoulder.

Now she was standing in front of them sobbing her feelings out he didn't know what to do. Alice saw the growing concern in his eyes, so she took one of the twins to place Juniper on her own hip and grabbed her daughter's hand in her own.

''Honey, is everything okay?'' Alice asked carefully, stroking her thumb over her daughters' knuckles. The girl nodded as she shared eye contact with her daughter, whom was reaching for her with her tiny hands.

''Everything is fine. I am just overwhelmed.'' She chuckled emotionally. 

Charles handed her over her son too and looked in awe at the mother that was now reunited with her children. It was a world full of difference since the last time he had seen her where she was clearly a damaged young adult who was emotionally, and by that time physically, abused by Edgar.

''At last we meet again,'' Charles joked slightly as he had finally some eye contact with her. Polly looked at the man in front of her and smiled shyly. Maybe she bad been most nervous to meet her older brother than to come back home to Riverdale.

Alice had told her a few months ago the story behind her pregnancy and how she told FP was the father of her baby. During her undercover mission at the Farm she had never told Polly the real story behind Chic and her real son, which by then was a good decision. But now everything was out in the open and Polly knew the truth.

A second of their first meeting flashed through her mind, but in months of recovery she had learned to turn it into something else and not only associate people like Charles, sister and mother with her traumatic experiences.

''It's good to finally meet you. For real this time.'' Polly smiled to him and he gave her a nod in return. Charles had no idea what he could say to his damaged sister, so he thought for now a simple look would be enough.

''Welcome home, honey.'' Alice said softly, and that's when she realised that the people that were surrounding her were the ones she was going to be a family with now. 

This was her house again. But this time it wasn't just her and her mother and sister. It was Jughead, who is her sister's boyfriend, Jughead's sister, and his dad. FP Jones. The man who was involved in the murder of her first love and the father of her children.

She saw that he gave her a soft smile, but she couldn't return it. Not just yet. Polly knew that her mom had started dating FP, but she never considered what that would mean to her life. He was standing next to his oldest son and she could see the features of him in Charles, which at this point scared her.

Maybe it was everything together that couldn't make her accept FP just yet. Maybe it was something she needed to get through on her own. Maybe it was just a memory to something she'd rather forget. Maybe it would go away very soon.

**

With the days passing by she slowly adjusted to the daily things of life, which was a hard task for her. Sometimes even the slightest movement or just word choice could take her back to the Farm or the Sister of Quiet Mercy. The difference was that she had now tried to learn to not fall into a panic attack or run away from the situation.

Betty and Alice were helping her with the twins who barely seemed to notice anything different about their mother. She swore to be better for them the second she set foot back into this house and she was determined to keep that promise.

One morning she came downstairs to go to the park with them, expecting to see her sister sitting on the couch with her children, but instead it was FP who was playing around with the twins.

It was as if she froze in the moment when she saw the man that she could barely look into the eyes holding her kids so close to him. How could the man that helped to take their fathers life be so carefree with the children that father put on this earth. Did this man have no heart? No conscience?

''Stay away from them.'' Polly stated coldly, her icy gaze fixated on FP.

The smile on his face faded the moment he heard her unexpected words, that stabbed through his heart like a knife. His blood went cold when he saw how dead serious she was.

''I'm sorry, I didn't mean to—'' FP started softly but got cut off by Polly. 

He held his hands slowly up in the air so she could see that he wasn't touching any of her kids. He wasn't sure where she was coming from, but it was clear that she was upset about something that he couldn't read in her eyes.

''I don't care what your intentions were. I don't want you near them, ever again.'' She said nervously as she rushed over to the couch and take the hands of her kids who didn't catch onto why they were being taken away from the man they adored so much.

What Polly didn't realize was that Alice had come down the stairs and overheard her daughter's last sentence. She quickly looked at FP who's eyes were filled with guilt and hurt and then she saw the scared look on her Polly's face.

''What's going on?'' She asked concerned, looking between the two people. FP stayed silent as he could feel that Polly was the one who should talk first, and that is exactly what she did.

Polly turned around and her icy look met the worried one of her mothers. Alice couldn't see if she was going to fall into a panic attack or that this had to do with the progress she needed to get through at home, but either way it didn't look good.

''I'll tell you what is going on. My kids were alone with the man that was involved in the murder of Jason. You decided to be with the person that took away the father of your grandchildren.'' She snapped, her look cold without any regret of her words.

FP looked away from the two as he tried to keep himself together as Alice's eyes were stinging. She swallowed away the lump in the throat as she tried to tell herself that Polly still needed to process some things that she faced for the very first time now.

''He isn't that person anymore, honey. He'll never harm a hair on their bodies.'' Alice said quietly, slowly approaching her daughter and placing her hands on her arms. Polly refused and yanked her away, which lost the handhold with both her kids.

''If you really think that's all I need to be convinced then you are really naïve, Mom. If there is one thing I learned in therapy than it is that people don't change that fast. You don't wash the blood of your hands that quickly.'' Polly didn't even pay attention to FP's presence in the room as she told her mother how much she disagreed with her relationship.

He slowly stood up from the couch, catching the attention from the two women. The one looked at him as if she tried to kill him with her eyes, the other one begged him to stay with just one look. 

But he had to play under Polly's rules now. He couldn't overstep, not once more or he'll ruin things for good. Not just for himself, but for Alice too. So despite how his heart told him to stay and wrap Alice in his arms, he needed to have some air so they could have a proper talk.

''I'll be home late, don't wait up.'' He said quietly and grabbed his Sheriff jacket from the coatrack and left without another word. 

Alice watched him leave out of the door with a lump in her throat but knew that it wasn't the time to go after him, not if her daughter was so upset with the current situation.

The two women stood in silence which was eventually broken by Polly, who had started this in the first place.

''I can't live in a house with that man, Mom. I thought I could but now I've seen him with the twins...'' She started confused with herself, as if she couldn't understand where her own feelings were coming from.

''I never knew you weren't okay with me and FP.'' Alice stated quietly, hoping to open a conversation about her rejection towards her boyfriend. 

She had told her daughter a long time ago that she and FP had started dating and back then she seemed okay with it. Alice had told her every detail about their past relationship as teenagers, including her pregnancy with Charles. There hadn't been a moment where she had doubted Polly's support, but now she wished she had so they had talked about it sooner.

''I wasn't focused on going back home when you told me. I was focused on my own recovery. I never thought through that I needed to face this one day.'' Polly answered, her face in a frown because of her realization.

Alice walked over closer to her daughter and grabbed both her hands in her own.

''Polly, I love you with my whole heart. I'd do anything for you. But you have to understand that I love FP too. He makes me happy in a way I never thought I could be.'' Alice sniffed, a tear escaping from her eye as she looked right into Polly's eyes.

Polly's heart started aching the second she heard her mother saying that, knowing that she made her sit in the middle between her daughter and probably the love of her life. There was just one thing that she couldn't understand. Why would the universe do this to her? Why did she get better to just face another thing that she had to go through? Why couldn't she be okay for just a second?

''From all the people in this town you chose to be with him?'' Polly said quietly, which was more of a rhetorical question that she didn't necessarily needed an answer to, but Alice did it anyway.

''It wasn't a choice, honey. FP and I have fought against our feelings for over twenty-five years. It may sound crazy to you but I am meant to be with him. And he is meant to be with me.'' Alice whispered, squeezing her daughters' hands.

It was quiet for a few seconds where in Polly just looked into the glossy eyes of her mother.

''Just like how I was supposed to be with Jason.'' She said harshly, and yanked back her hands to walk away and run upstairs. Alice watched as she saw her leave and realised that she had disappointed both the love of her life and her oldest daughter.

**

It was in the middle of the night when FP came home from his night shift and quietly got inside his house. He walked upstairs without making a sound to not risk waking up anyone. Since the clock had stroke two in the morning already he assumed Alice was asleep, but to his surprise her nightstand lamp was still on when he entered their bedroom.

''You're up.'' He whispered, as he loosened his tie and started to undress himself. 

Alice smiled slightly and gave him a nod that he didn't see as he undid his pants. He quickly changed into his pyjama's before sliding in bed next to her.

''I wanted to make sure you are okay.'' She said sadly as she snuggled up against him. FP smiled softly as he wrapped his arms around her, holding her secure to his body.

''I'm fine, Alice. I think I should ask you how you and Polly are holding up. I am sorry for creating a mess. I should have known better.'' He sighed and nuzzled his head against hers. His fingers stroke up and down her upper arm which led to her keeping him even closer to her.

''This is not on you, you hear me? You are a good man, FP. You'll protect the little ones like your own, I know that.'' She kissed his cheek softly after she was finished talking, and he leant a back a little so he could face her now.

''I know you do. But to her I'll always be the person that took something from both her and her children. and I don't blame her for that.'' FP said quietly as he felt the tears in his eyes sting. 

He knew that he made some unforgivable decisions in his life that he now was ashamed of and he knew he would probably think the same horrible things about himself if he was in Polly's shoes. He had changed his life, but that would never erase all the unethical things his hands had done.

Alice looked as she saw the tears ready to fall from his eyes, so she pecked a soft kiss to his lips.

''Everything will be fine. That is a promise.'' Her soft voice echoed through the bedroom and for a second FP let himself believe her words, even when he felt that this was just the first obstacle they had to face in their relationship.

**

''Please go eat for Mommy, okay?'' Polly pleaded desperately as she tried to feed her son who refused for what it felt like the hundredths time that morning. 

Juniper had started throwing her food through the living room, which was probably a cry for attention, but she just couldn't keep up with two of them at the same time.

Dagwood slapped his little hand against the spoon which caused her dropping in onto the floor. As she saw the food fall it felt like the last straw for her to break down. Without a warning from her body she just started sobbing uncontrollably as her kids got bored more by the second. They were too young to register that their mom was upset so they just kept playing with the food on their tiny plates.

She placed her head into her hands as she tried to keep down the crying noise, so she couldn't possibly notice FP coming into the living room. He saw the upset girl that wouldn't even look him into his eyes for days now but still decided to slowly approach her.

Before he could say anything, she looked up and met his eyes, which caused her to wipe away her tears as quickly as possible. She didn't want anyone to see her like this, especially not the man she tried to ignore.

As if didn't have a mental breakdown just seconds ago she grabbed another spoon and brought to Juniper's mouth, hoping that she would take the bait now.

''We uhm—We normally sing them a song before they eat.'' FP stated quietly, looking at Polly's hand who was trembling like crazy. 

He could read on her face that she was trying hard to keep her act together but that was a habit she had gotten from her mom and so he was able to look right through that.

She now gave him a proper look as he carefully pointed at the guitar in the corner of the living room. Polly laid down the spoon as a sign of peace and gave him a nod that he could barely see. Still, he would take any chance he got so he grabbed the instrument and sat down next to the toddlers, who seemed to catch onto what he was going to do.

Polly looked how the faces of her kids lighted up the moment they heard the music coming out of the guitar and she had to admit that she was taken aback by the way she was seeing FP now. This wasn't the Serpent King she had gotten to know. This wasn't the man that had gone to jail for hiding the body of her boyfriend. This was a man playing a child song about food and eating vegetables to three-year olds.

Juniper clapped her hands happily and Dagwood climbed over towards FP and hold his upper arm to keep himself steady. FP chuckled why he sang the song and looked at the happy faces of the kids who two minutes ago had thrown their food through the room.

By now the kids had figured out what the song meant so when the music was almost faded out the grabbed their own spoons into their hands and brought it to their own mouths. They were quiet in a matter of seconds.

Polly sighed a little, squeezing her own hands to try to calm her nerves. Maybe she had misjudged the guy when she had seen him with her kids. They genuinely seemed to appreciate his presence while she even struggled to get them to look at her.

''I'll leave you three alone again.'' FP said quietly and putted away the guitar as he was about to stand up.

''No, wait—'' She started carefully. He looked back at her, his eyes sparkling with a bit of hope.

''Are there some other things I should know about their rituals? More songs? More bedtime stories?'' She asked him, her cheeks flushing as she felt shame taking over her.

How hard it was for her to admit, it was still the truth that her mother and FP knew more about her own children then she did at this point. She needed them to bond with Juniper and Dagwood again.

''We always make up our own stories. They love the one where we tell them about a princess and prince of Riverdale who were twins just like them.'' He chuckled slightly, feeling a little uncomfortable telling how her own kids went to bed every night as if he knew better. He hated to see the hurt in her eyes knowing that she didn't have things under control.

''I don't even know how to connect with my own children anymore.'' Polly whispered loud enough for him to hear.

FP took a seat next to her on the couch and breathed in before he started talking. He knew he had to be careful with her, but he wasn't going to let her talk herself down like that. 

''As a mother you have an unbreakable bond with you kids. Nobody will ever take that away from you. Not the Blossoms. Not the Sisters. Not Edgar.'' He said softly, giving her an assuring smile.

Polly smiled gratefully and looked at her kids who showed her proudly that they had finished all their food. Dagwood held his hand in the air and earned a high five from FP while Juniper asked for the attention of her mom who happily took her on her lap.

''That's good, Bud! We're proud of you!'' He chirped and high fived the little toddler hand. FP looked at the girl next to him who seemed to smile a little again as her daughter gave her a kiss on her cheek.

''I know we started off on the wrong foot, but I hope I can make it up to you one day.'' He started as he folded his hands together. FP saw the look in her eyes softening and he knew he had to take his chance now before she would decide to give him the could shoulder again.

''To proof I am serious about this I'll start with sharing something I've never shared with someone before. Not even with your Mom.'' His voice was trembling slightly as he knew that this could go terribly wrong.

He had never thought about ever sharing this with someone, certainly not with the daughter of his girlfriend who thought of him as a monster. But it was a sacrifice he was willing to make if it could lead for her to put down her weapons. He took a breath and started his story.

''As you know, the man you see playing songs to your kids now isn't the man I always have been. I was an addict. I was a screw up father who had chased his kids away from him. Alcohol seemed the only solution to help ease that aching pain. Now I know I was wrong, but it came down to a point where I thought people would be better off without me.'' 

He looked shamefully down at his hands as he rather not speak of that time in his life ever again, but he had to be honest with her. He couldn't just tell half of this story. It was all or nothing.

''It came down to the day where I was very close to taking my own life. Like you said, you don't wash blood of your hands that easily. I thought I deserved to suffer. I didn't believe I had something left to live for. If you're not here anymore you can't hurt other people, I thought.'' 

FP fought against the tears falling form his eyes but when he looked at her he saw that she was listening and he even saw a spark of sadness in her eyes. That dark feeling was something he had left behind him a long time ago, but bringing it up was like experiencing it all over again.

''What I am trying to tell you is that after I passed that point in my life, I fought my battles every day to survive. And I am still here.'' The emotions were noticeable in the way his voice cracked but there formed a slight smile on his face anyway, remembering that his hard work paid off and he was finally in a place where he could say he felt what true happiness was supposed to feel like.

Polly had stayed awfully silent. He didn't expect her to say anything, so he was about to stand up and leave her alone for the time being, but that is when she started to talk.

''During my recovery... I was at that point too. I didn't want to be here anymore. No matter if I would get better or not, people would always see me as that mentally sick girl. Forever. I would have nothing to come back to. I thought that if it would all be over, I could be with Jason.'' 

Her voice was small and vulnerable and as FP looked at her and he became afraid that just a simple stare could break her in a thousand pieces.

It was in that moment that he realized how Polly was so much a like Alice. That wall she had built around herself and the defence mechanism she used by shutting everyone out was exactly like that of her Mom. The big difference was that Alice slowly had learnt to let go off that, while Polly still needed to figure out a way to handle with all of this.

''And I know this sounds crazy but... He told me in a dream that I should stay for our kids. He wanted me to see them grow up. He said it wasn't my time yet. So, I stayed.'' She said quietly, feeling the shame take over him.

Besides her therapist she had never told this to anyone before either, but it gave her a feeling of freedom to share it with someone who might understand what she was going through.

''You deserve to see them grow up, Polly. And they deserve to have mother like you.'' FP said softly, giving her a sweet smile which she gladly returned. 

Both of them could feel that they had a long way to go to get to a point where they could grow past all the hurt that was obviously there, but in that moment she could feel that she wanted to get there, which was the first and most difficult step in her process.

''I was about to go to the playground with them, would you like to join?'' She asked politely, as a way to tell him she would slowly let down her armor and wanted to see that the world of Riverdale she left wasn't the same as the one she had stepped back into, starting with accepting FP into her family.

He nodded gratefully and stood up to get their strollers. She looked at him as he packed some bags with their beanie's and gloves and smiled to herself. Maybe this man wasn't so bad as she had pictured him to be.

''Oh, and FP—'' She got stuck halfway her sentence, not knowing how to ask him what was on her mind.

''Yes, your secret is safe with me, Polly. I promise you. Hopefully you know you can come talk to me whenever you feel like those thoughts are taking over you again.'' He had read her mind and assured her that none of the things she had just told him would ever leave the room.

''Thank you. That means the world to me.'' She smiled, which he gladly returned. In that moment they set the first step into finding a way to deal with their dysfunctional family.


End file.
